For those of you who still have this username added as a friend and are wondering what the hell it is, this is a journal that I, Jake (of sphere10 fame) created to comment on all the movies and TV and crap I watch. My last post was November 2006, so you can see how great I am at keeping up with things. I want to see if I can get it going again tho. Nothing in depth for now, but in a few days I will comment on one of the worst films I've ever seen, "The Happening" and one of the best, "The Visitor". That is all.

tl;dr

The Happening 0 stars out of ****

The Visitor **** out of ****

..says Jake

Things Watched This Week: Nov 14 - Nov 21

42 UP
The Great New Wonderful
Casino Royale (in theaters)
An Inconvenient Truth
Who Killed the Electric Car?
Heroes ep 8 and ep 9
Big Love ep 1

Things I Meant to Watch But Didnt:

49 UP
Descent
A Scanner Darkly
Dexter
Extras

Might as well start with those crazy UP series kids. I watched 42 UP at the beginning of the week and was yet again blown away by how entertaining that series is. For those who forget (or who can't scroll down to last week's post) the UP series takes a look at the lives of a handful of british every seven years. My favorite character had been Nick - the nuclear physist born on a farm somewhere in nowhereville - up until 42 Up, but its now James - the math teacher/assistant professor - who not only got married finally after being too shy to get a lot of girls during his life, but also befriended Neil, the UP series' wandering soul who has been homeless since he was 24, and gave him a stable friendship and place to stay and who probably is responsible for Neil still being alive at this age. James embodies so many good things about humanity that I had to make him my favorite. I know I said I would have seen 49 UP by now but I lied. Luckily I have seven years before I get two films behind in the series, so lets hope I can get it watched by then.

The Great New Wonderful, an indie film directed by Danny Leiner (Harold and Kumar), was one of the poorest films ive seen in a while, despite having a cast of Maggie Gylenhaal, Tony Shaloub, Will Arnett (GOB from arrested development), Stephen Colbert, and others. It's a dramedy about middle class life in New York one year after the events of 9/11. There are about 5 or 6 main characters and each one of their stories is laboriously metaphorical. None of the stories would carry any interest (and they barely do still) or make any sense if they werent trying to embody the emotions of people after 9/11. One couple is unable to have sex because they have a horrible son who I'm guessing represents the evilness of the 9/11 acts, and only once they are able to literally send him away and "get over him" are they able to have sex again and start their lives anew. Another character is unable to admit his deep down anger about losing his colleagues during 9/11 until his therapist convinves him to hit him (the therapist) over the head with a chair, and then he stumbles around and says "im lost". It has good intentions I suppose, but its not done well. Nothing really ever happens to these people, and when things do happen, the 5 or 6 different stories break up the narrative so much that its hard to follow along and see why things are happening. It was a waste of a cast, all in all. Im sure in the years to come there will be several movies dedicated to life after 9/11 (one could gesture that all movies set in present day are about post 9/11 life) but this simply isnt one of them.

Casino Royale is the great antidote to a lackuster indie film. Im still not sold on Daniel Craig being an ideal bond (his thinning hair isnt as suave or as manly as bond should be, in my opinion) but I am sold on the new take of the Bond franchise. From the get go, Bond is bloodier, gritter, and more intense than all the Brosnan Bond films combined. Couple that with a decent Bond story, a great opening chase scene that isnt so much on the ground as it is up in the air, one of the hottest Bond girls in recent memory (Eva "I had sex with my twin brother in The Dreamers" Green), and a serious lack of bad puns and silliness that had plagued the last two Bond films and you definitely the best Bond film since Goldeneye and probably the best bond film since Sean Connery was about. Daniel Craig isnt a smooth and smarmy type of Bond, he's just a big, soft spoken bad-ass Bond and thats exactly what the franchise needed this type around.

Yay for documentaries. Al Gore's an Inconvenient truth will tell you some stuff you've heard before and a lot of stuff you haven't. It pretty much makes the most stellar case for Global Warming you've seen (as if things like Hurricane Katrina werent enough) and also provides a few fascinating insights into the life of Al Gore. I know its cool to make fun of Al Gore, but the guy is pretty fucking amazing. Not only does he make fun of himself a lot (doing things like guess spots on Futurama), here's a guy that after losing the presidential bid in 2000 could have easily sat around doing occasional interviews and writing (or having others write) book after book about his life, but instead intensified his learning and research about a real passion of his - Global Warming. It's something so unpolitical that you want him to be a politician again because he's proven he's not out there for himself, he actually gives a damn about something. But regardless of your feelings on Gore and regardless of your political leanings, An Inconvenient Truth is a must watch. Its scary, easy to comprehend, and utterly fascinating.

Who Killed the Electric Car? is another really fascinating documentary about the plight of GM's EV1. About 10 years ago, the EV1 launched and was heralded by everyone who got to drive one. It wsa a plug in electric car that ran the same as a regular car in terms of speed, mileage, etc. but the electricity only cost the equivalent of about 50 cents a gallon. The car worked so well that people were in waiting lists thousands of people long to get one. GM, however, completely backed out on the car after launching it, eventually reclaiming every single EV1 car sold and shredding it. Literally shredding it. Why would it do this? The film gives you several reasons why, from big conspiracies to smaller conspiracies, but you get the definite sense that something foul was afoot. EV1 drivers banded together to protest GM taking back their cars, holding protests for which they were arrested. The commercials that GM used to promote the car were scary. They interviewed some big southern car mogul talking about how everyone in the industry knows the only way to sell a car is to show it with a good looking guy or girl. They then cut to what was the EV1 commercial, which was in black and white, showed shadows of people walking on the street, and an eerie woman's breathy voice says things like "how does it run without gears, how does it run without gas? how did we go so long without it?" and then at the very end of the commercial they show the car way off in the distance. It's startling cause its so unlike every single car ad you have ever seen, and I think as a kid 10 years ago i even remember seeing it and going "wtf" in my head. All in all, it's a fascinating look at a potential and likely conspiracy. Again, a lot of you people write it off as being just another liberal documentary, but its a fascinating look at conspiracy in general, no matter what the political implications of it are.

No more Lost means lots more Heroes. It will have to do while Lost is away. Im getting a tad sick with the "save the cheerleader, save the world" mantra that both the ads and the show itself are beating to death, and more and more "heroes" are being revealed each episode which makes it harder for the show to stay focused on any one story for a long period of time, and if that guy who plays peter petrelli doesnt stop flicking back his long hair all the time im gonna just stop watching the show...but beyond all that, Heroes has been fun. The cheerleader was indeed saved, the fate of the world still remains a question, and who the hell us Sylar? These things will keep me watching for at least this season.

I started big love, the hbo series about polygamy. Bill Paxton has three wives and he tries to live a normal life, but, get this, it's hard on him. So far ive just watched the pilot. It's done pretty well so far, I already hate one of the wives (which is what the show wants me to do im sure) and bill paxton is just a likeable guy in general so I like watching him. It doesnt have the flare of Six Feet Under but its a fascinating look at life from a unusual perspective. I have high hopes for it. I shall watch more.

This Week's Ratings: (out of ****)

42 UP ****
The Great New Wonderful *1/2
Casino Royale ***1/2
An Inconvenient Truth ****
Who Killed the Electric Car ***1/2
Heroes ep 8 ***
Heroes ep 9 ***
Big Love ep 1 ***

DVDs Rented:
The Da Vinci Code
The Descent
The Ron Clark Story
42 Up

Movies/TV Shows watched:
The Da Vinci Code
The Ron Clark Story
Cars
Heroes, ep 1. 7
Lost, ep. 3. 6
Six Feet Under ep 1.1 and 1.2 (on Bravo)

So this week was kinda slow for me, partially because I’ve been avoiding watching 42 up for a long time (and I avoided it more) and I felt guilty when I watched anything else, and partially because I went out to the bars Thursday and Friday nights and thus couldn’t watch more than the ESPN highlights on the Froggy’s TV above the bar (which I enjoyed). The UP Series, for those who don’t know, is a documentary series where Michael Apted interviews the same group of British people in seven year intervals, starting when they were seven. They are now up to 49 (and thus I have two more of the series to watch). It’s really an amazing concept and quite an entertaining thing to behold, to see how real peoples lives have transformed, but since I didn’t watch one this week, ill save all my commentary on that for next week when I finish the series off. (hopefully).

So I saw the Da Vinci Code. I don’t know. I didn’t hate it as much as a lot of people did. Tom Hanks – still not a very good Langdon. Audrey Tautou – still want to have a lot of sex with her. Jean Reno was kind of wasted, and the story was hacked and trimmed in so many places that Dan Brown would be rolling in his grave….wait, he’s alive, and probably rolling in piles upon piles of money - In fact I’m pretty sure Dan Brown doesn’t care at all. The movie hardly had any built up suspense, which is odd, because Ron Howard knows how to direct suspense pretty well (Apollo 13). Right before the movie starts on the DVD it flashes ANGELS AND DEMONS – IN PRODUCTION NOW. Which means that Summer 2008 will probably disappoint everyone all over again.

The Ron Clark Story was a cute little teacher inspirational story with Matthew Perry (who is pretty watchable in almost everything). It’s way cheesy in parts (I grimaced through a whole scene where Matthew Perry raps about the presidents for his classroom of Harlem 5th graders. One can’t help but wonder if the real Ron Clark – as white as white can get - narrowly escaped death if he actually attempted this.) The movie is like countless others you’ve seen. At first, the kids are wild. Talking, Out of their desks. Attitudes galore. Slowly the teacher wins them over by teaching “out of the box” and doing something that gets their attention (in this case, chugging a chocolate milk for every 15 seconds they can stay quiet during a grammar lesson). By the end, they’ve all scored higher than everyone else in the world on some test and the kids all love him and all that sappy stuff.I liked it, I wont lie, but its not very good. Ron Clark himself is kind of interesting. He wrote a book called the 55 essential rules for the classroom. Some I really identified with (Rule #45 – Don’t tell me you are sick when you are not) from back when I did student teaching. Some of it I didn’t really agree with, including one where the kids have to refer to him as “sir”.

Cars is cute. I can understand why some people don’t like it. It’s a throw back to the first few Pixar films (Toy Story 1, A Bugs Life) where its just plain fun and funny and not as “cinematic” as Finding Nemo or The Incredibles. Also, I grew up watching Nascar, and I caught and enjoyed a lot of the inside jokes that those unfaimilar with the sport wouldn’t get (Darrell Cartrip as the race announcer, for instance).

TV this week was pretty exciting. The Lost semi-season finale occurred, and now I have to wait 3 months to find out how the hell Jack is gonna get himself out of a doozie of a pickle. The third season has been frustrating because of all the emphasis on the others. The rest of the Island, with all the fun characters like Locke and Hurley, has been mostly neglected. Heroes is not a great show so far, but the superhero angle has me really involved with it (well, that and Ali Larter – who plays a convincing Las Vegas stripper, not surprisingly enough). It’s trying to build to a Lost style audience who write on online forums about conspiracies and theories and such, only it reveals things and a much more accelerated rate than Lost does (which, one could argue, has revealed jack shit (no pun intended) through 2 and a half seasons so far).

Finally, I caught a few episodes of Six Feet on Bravo for the first time. Having that show on Bravo is pretty silly. The Fisher family swears like no other, and a lot of the more proactive scenes and dialogue have to be cut out. It’s still nice to know that more people are gonna get a taste of the show, and hopefully will go out and rent it. Through five fantastic seasons it had me captivated like few other shows have or ever will, and to this day it remains my favorite TV Drama of all time.

Weekly Ratings (out of four)

The Da Vinci Code **1/2
The Ron Clark Story **1/2
Cars: ***
Heroes: ***
Lost: ***/12
Six Feet: ***1/2 (minus a half star for Bravo edits)

1) First off, I already know that plenty of you will have seen thousands of things I have never seen and that I shouldnt proclaim myself a film buff because of that. I am plenty aware of this. I dont really proclaim to be a film buff. This isnt a journal for me to name-drop directors and act like im all important cause i watched a wim wenders film the night before (ive never watched a wim wenders film). I'm writing it cause i think it will be both enjoyable to read and also give you suggestions on stuff to watch, or not watch.

2) I'm gonna try and do this on a week to week basis, maybe with a mid-week pop-in every now and then. Yet, we all know that with my posting habits this may not happen. No calling for my head if it doesnt.

3) People are always free to talk about what they've seen, but dont expect me to go see everything you want me to see right away at least, because it takes me a while just to see the stuff that I know I want to see. I am constantly behind on shows and movies, and my personal "queue" doesnt have room for a ton more.

Thats all I suppose. :)

Nick Hornby, the great british author, started a monthly article about all the books he buys and reads as an author. He rants about all the books he has to read, the book he is ashamed he has never read, and all the things he starts to read but, for one reason or another, can never finish. I thought this idea was so great that id do one for myself. But heres the thing.

I don't read.

It's true. I mean I know how to read and all, and yes everyone, I did graduate UC Davis with a four year degree in English Literature (Davis not being the most "literary-minded" of schools mind you, but still, reading was a requirement for most classes.) I own some books, have some favorite books, and have even thumbed my way through a good deal of shakespearen prose, stoppard plays, and even James Joyce's Ulysses. (Not Joyce's 'Finnegans Wake" though. If anyone wants a good laugh, go to your nearest book store and read page one of Finnegans Wake. Even the book's preface suggests that the whole thing may not indeed be "readble" which makes one wonder why, short of being a somewhat tall drink coaster, the book has reason to exist. The meaning of life could be [and lets face it, probably is] on page 294 of FW, but no one has ever gotten close to reading that far into the book before jumping off the golden gate bridge while on fire.} But I dont read constanly. I cant tell you the name of this author and that, nor do I fall to rest after fighting sleep through one last chapter of whatever the new york times is noting worthy of being a "best-seller". In part this is because I am A. lazy, and B, because I do something else with all my free time...

I watch things.

TV shows, DVDs, sporting events - I am the great watcher (I think that sounds like some suspense movie Keanu Reeves was in, anyone know?). Free rentals is my blessing and my curse. ABC.com's media player even lets me watch the LOST episodes I miss. And with the world of illegal downloading still very much in control, virtually anything watchable is at my disposal. And boy do I dispose.

In a given week I rent 4-5 movies, some of which are TV shows on DVD, I then watch the handful of weekly TV shows I am currently into, 1-3 sharks/giants games depending on my work schedule, 2-3 movies a night in the background while at the video store (although many of these are duplicates or simpsons episodes) and whatever else I catch on live TV or on the rare instance when I shell out 9 dollars for a movie downtown. Until now, all this watching has been going unaccounted for and un-ranted about. But that day ends today. This journal, whatjakesees, will catch you up on all what im watching, all the good, all the crap, all the funny, all the sad, all the mainstream, all the indie "look at how smart I am for watching this", and so on and so forth. I hope you enjoy.